pandora's aquarium

X-posted from ceruleanst

A Slurry Tale

ACT I SCENE 2. A road, morning. Enter JULES and VINCENT, murderers.

V: And know'st thou what the French name cottage pie?
J: Say they not cottage pie, in their own tongue?
V: But nay, their tongues, for speech and taste alike
Are strange to ours, with their own history:
Gaul knoweth not a cottage from a house.
J: What say they then, pray?
V: Hachis Parmentier.
J: Hachis Parmentier! What name they cream?
V: Cream is but cream, only they say la crème.
J: What do they name black pudding?
V: I know not;
I visited no inn it could be bought.

(Point of fact: Shakespeare's time was actually long before anyone would eat potatoes in either England or France.)[This note was here when I first posted the first passage. I went with it because it was an analogous curiosity of language, and because there seriously were NO differences between English and French cuisine in Shakespeare's time.]


J: Your pardon; did I break thy concentration?
Continue! Ah, but now thy tongue is still.
Allow me then to offer a response.
Describe Marsellus Wallace to me, pray.
B: What?
J: What country dost thou hail from?
B: What?
J: Thou sayest thou dost hail from distant What?
I know but naught of thy fair country What.
What language speak they in the land of What?
B: What?
J: English, base knave, dost thou speak it?
B: Aye!
J: Then hearken to my words and answer them!
Describe to me Marsellus Wallace!
B: What?
JULES presses his knife to BRETT's throat
J: Speak 'What' again! Thou cur, cry 'What' again!
I dare thee utter 'What' again but once!
I dare thee twice and spit upon thy name!
Now, paint for me a portraiture in words,
If thou hast any in thy head but 'What',
Of Marsellus Wallace!
B: He is dark.
J: Aye, and what more?
B: His head is shaven bald.
J: Hath he the semblance of a harlot?
B: What?
JULES strikes and BRETT cries out
J: Hath he the semblance of a harlot?
B: Nay!
J: Then why didst thou attempt to bed him thus?
B: I did not!
J: Aye, thou didst! O, aye, thou didst!
Thou sought to rape him like a chattel whore!
And sooth, Lord Wallace is displeased to bed
With aught but Lady Wallace, whom he wed.

X-posted from djsparkydog (I just can't help it. It is too fucking funny)

Obligitory WTF is wrong with people post

Real quick, what's the fucking use of inching forward in traffic when a TRAIN is what's holding you up. In freeway gridlock, every inch is valuable, but guess what, no one will cut you off if you are stopped in front of the tracks and there's a train there. And if they do, Darwinism cleans up their dumb ass. Look, when the train goes away there will be some signs:
- The arms that keep you from inching your way ino death will lift.
- That clanging? It'll go away.
- Flashing lights? Gone too.
- Strange "train like sounds" also gone, or at least receding into the distance.
- 15 foot moving wall of FUCKING TRAIN in front of you. Replaced by air.
- And, even if you miss all these signals, a helpful samaritan will honk or yell something like "HEY FUCKWAD, YOU GONNA DRIVE OR WHAT?"

So in summation: When it comes to trains, put the goddamn e-brake on and wait.

I don't think I am wearing nearly enough clothes!! I am cold!! *brrrrr* It's my own fault. That's what I get for dressing like a tart!
Love you all, LOTS and LOTS!!

How things work out. I know this guy, and he kinda makes me feel all girly. It seems like anytime I thought about hitting on him either he or I were not single, and now it has happened again. Don't get me wrong, I am REALLY happy to not be single, especially with someone like J. who loves me and respects me. I do care for him sooooo much. I wouldn't give that up for anything.
Just funny how things happen!