pandora's aquarium

Yesterday was mildly entertaining. I went in for my twice weekly baby monitoring, and to my amazement was also having contractions, which were spaced 5-7 mins apart. I somehow did not realize this until they started freaking out. Obviously it was nothing, and I am fine. At least now I do know what contractions feel like. My back was bugging me on Wed., but I wasn't in any pain, but I realized that I had been having them since Wed. afternoon. Other than the fact that they were so close together, I wasn't horribly worried. I mean there is the fear of being 34 weeks in and thinking you could be in labor, but I didn't have any of the other things that are signs of true labor. Turned out I wasn't in true labor, so it's all good! Just thought I would share the freakiness. It seems as if almost anything that could go wonky with this pregnancy, is. Lucky me!

I had my appt. with the diabetic counselor today. I now have a glucose meter of my very own. I was expecting that. I however am extremely surprised about how much my diet isn't turned completely upside-down. As long as I pay attention to what I am doing, I can eat pretty much anything. In fact, the amount of food that I can eat per meal, is almost twice what I would be able to eat, and I am allowed some pretty hefty snacks.
I don't generally eat snacks, because it is difficult for me to eat them at work (since I was accused of eavesdropping on the owners when I was eating snacks), so that may even help. I do get hungry between meals!

She did not seem terribly confident that diet alone would help me, but my blood sugar wasn't that bad during the spikes. If it doesn't then I have to try metformin first, which is what my mom is on. There is another drug I can try after that (which the baby must have eaten the brain cell holding the name of that drug), and then insulin, if neither of those work.

Anyway, that's it for the update!

Oh except for the part where I forgot to mention that I accidently locked my cat into my bedroom from 8 am til 2 pm. I now have to go search the room, just to make sure! I feel so guilty. This is the problem with having a fast moving, shadow colored cat!

I look like I have been shooting up, only it looks like I am not good at it! The left arm is worse because I also had an allergic reaction to the adhesive on the gauze tape they use! It's nasty.

Also, who's thighs are these? Whoever has mine, will you please give them back? The rest of me is the same size for the most part, but you could hold up piers with my thighs. I am afraid, very afraid.

Great day....

They think I have Gestational Diabetes. No promise it will go away when he gets out of me. I get to go in at some point for a Glucose Tolerance Test in the next week or so. Don't know what good that will do me. My diet is good, and other than the fact that I am thirsty a lot, I can't think of anything I could change. Although this may explain why I never got over the first trimester exhaustion.

I just realized that we are quickly approaching July, and I have not figured out the baby shower thing! Here will be difficult (between disabled mother, insane dogs, and two very shedding cats). Plus I just have a fair amount of house stuff that NEEDS to be done, before I am comfortable having any sort of gathering here (I do see those in the future though)!
eclypsia offered up her place a long time ago. I appreciate the offer no end, but I know that I certainly don't want to put her through hosting a party that isn't for her (that just seems rude to me)!

Should I have it somewhere public? Should I have one at all? I dunno. Any ideas out there?

I made a compost bin out of a cheap Wally world trash can today. It's kinda sad that with all of this time off, that is all I accomplished, but hey, at least it's something. I am making a second one next weekend.
Oh, and I finally took my recycling. It has been sitting in my vestibule for a while collecting dust. Now it will go somewhere and become something else!
It is good to feel as if you are doing *something*.

I am also hoping to get the beds for my herb garden started in the near future. I won't be planting this year, I think, but I at least want to get the beds started. Next year it will be more difficult for me to make time for it I am thinking...
I have also decided that ohno_jonathan_o will need to come over and help me weed my yard. I have soooooo many weeds.
I had a slight breakdown at the midwife's office today. It was a freak out over the house, my mom, the baby... pretty much everything important in my life right now. I will be okay, and I am not nearly as depressed as I had been. Just a little stressed.

Keep repeating *IT WILL ALL BE OKAY*

OH, and I am getting my camera back prolly by Thursday. All fixed, no cost to me!!!!

GAH! I still have not posted the ultrasounds of Turnip-head (which the ultrasound will show that that nick-name is not at all inappropriate). I have to scan them and for some reason that it just more than I have energy for! It will get done, prolly after the babe has been born and everyone has seen it, but it will get done!!!

From elegantdreams

All I want to know is Twelve things you passionately love.
I don't care if they are names I can't make reference to, colors, sounds, places you've been, moments you remember, a song in your head, a word, a touch, a flower you saw twenty years ago and can't forget, a letter someone wrote, your mom, your child, the idea of having a child, ... anything, everything... and please don't feel limited to 12... if you have 20, 50 or 100 I'll be more than overjoyed. And, if you don't want to post to "all of your friends" please simply hit "reply" and let me know.
I won't share, I won't repost, I won't abuse, negate, or say a damn thing about it.
I'm just feeling a bit blessed in some respects and down in others and would love the outpouring of what my friends find in life to love and sustain them.
Not a requirement, just a blessing I'd love to share. Please, if you can find the time... now hard is it to type out ten things you adore in life?
And, if I'm right by the people I've chose for friendship, perhaps you're reassess and truly appreciate that which you do love so much. Thank you ahead of time and I guarantee a formal thanks for anything that hits my inbox.


now the one thing i will change here is this, if you post to my journal, it will be public, I want to know what makes people happy, what they want and need and hope for in life, it makes me remember what life is all about, and I would love for everyone to share...however, if you feel OK telling me, and not the general public, email me at pandora.blue.girl@gmail.com, and just to be fair, I will add mine on here...

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

1. The beautiful life growing inside of me. Sometimes I think I am not ready, but if I waited until I was ready, would I ever have children?

2. My Mom, who gave up so much to keep me safe. She has been the person that I want to grow up to be.

3. Jonathan, who probably isn't feeling to much love coming from me right now, because of circumstances. Thank you for all of the love and kindness that you have and keep showing me (especially now).

4. My Paddywagon, which is the greatest sweetest cat. I am entirely too attached to him, and lately he has been feeling unloved as well.

5. Tori Amos, whose music changed my life. The passion that is expressed in her music makes my heart lift.

6. The color of blue that the sky turns right before the sun is completely gone. Between the indigo of the night sky, and the yellow of the setting sun. *sigh*

7. My true friends, that stick around no matter how shitty I treat them. I don't deserve their love, and yet I am so grateful for it.

8. Music in general. If it moves me, I am an instat fan. I can feel it in my veins, and wish that it would never stop.

9. Books. I love the way they feel in my hands, the way that they smell when you turn the pages, The way that you can lose yourself for a little while, and the real world ceases to exist.

10. The white sanded cove near Tampa Bay, FL. It was quiet and beautiful. Dolphins came within 20 feet of me and the water was so clear. It is my meditation space.

11. My collection of ceramic ducks. I have managed to get a beautiful collection, to the point that I don't have room for all of them. These aren't figurines, either. They are large (smallest about 12" long). I think my favorite is still my big green one that I got a few years ago from my mom.

12. Black Pearls. Not perfect round ones, but the ones that are slightly odd shaped. The warmth that they absorb from your body heat, and the way that they color shift in the light.

13. Gypsy Roses. They are an un-patented variety, but they make the most perfect big beautiful red blooms. I love roses of all kinds, but these are my favorite.


I will add more as I think of them...

So why does all of this have to be such a pain in the ass? I have insurance through work, which happily does NOT cover prenatal care. When my boss signed us up for this, she did not realize it. Our insurance broker knew I wanted to get pregnant in the near future, but didn't realize that to get the maternity rider for the policy I am on, I would have to be on it for 1 year before conception and it would cost around $6,000/yr. We have only had this insurance since August, so even if I had been on it from the beginning, it wouldn't cover now.

SO, I went down to the handy dandy Human Services Dept. for Medicaide. First, I have to see a doctor to bring proof that I am pregnant (which, Thank God, Planned Parenthood does for $10). Even after that, though, I will have to wait between 35-45 days to get approved. I still haven't had the first appt where they do the exam and all of that crap. Without insurance, I can't afford it. I don't know what I am going to do at this point!!!

I know I need to go to the doctor, but how am I supposed to when I don't have any coverage? I don't know what to do, and am worried that I may not be able to have this baby after all.

{EDIT: I got some really great advice that has made me a LOT less stressed. thank you eclypsia}

Or Do I mean AAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!?