I hate this,

[pandorablue]

We decided to take a break. I hate it, but it needed to happen. I know that relationships take work, but I am working so hard at everything else, that I just couldn't give anymore. I keep thinking though that there should have been another way, and that if I just push harder, I can keep it going. I just don't know how.
I hate the idea that I have hurt someone that loves me, and that I love. Everything is just so fucked up. I know that I brought it on myself. I always do, and I don't know why I expected anything different this time. I'm no good at relationships, maybe I never will be. I think I should just stop trying. What is the point anyway? Any guy that comes my way that might remotely be good for me, I run off at an alarming rate of speed.
And, you know what? He told me that he's been thinking about it for a few weeks, and that it is probably the best thing. He's right. I'm no good for him. I'm no good for anyone. I quit. I can't keep getting my hopes up anymore. It isn't worth feeling like this. It always ends up feeling like this. I'm done.

Comments

Re: A SMALL TIMID HAND WAVES FROM THE BACK OF THE ROOM...

[ohno-jonathan-o.livejournal.com]

I appologize to you for firing off this defense. This has been a bad 9 days for EVERYONE at home. No, I wasn't meaning for you to 'examine' me per se, but I have been abreast of issues and passionate about them and eagerly supportive of those who are also. Unfortunately this has been the case with Pandora and I since I returned from a trip the first week of July. I'll admit, for someone who I KNOW I love Eros, Philios, and Aggape, I sure seem to be offering to help everyone at her expense. She didn't fuck up, I did. I care to much for everyone that I can't seem to give enough attention to Any ONE person or so it seems...

I actually appreciate that you gave her 'girl' support and I am sorry that my response gave you pause to delete it. I'm sure she would have appreciated the knowledge that others have been there, unfortunately done that, and are burning the T-shirt. I'm am also sorry that we guys seem like we may never get a clue...

For whatever this means and however you may take it...
"I Respect you."
-J
P.S. You caused me to write some things that needed to be said...both here and emailed. That, I think, is a good thing.

Re: A SMALL TIMID HAND WAVES FROM THE BACK OF THE ROOM...

[my-window-seat.livejournal.com]

My work here is done.

Re: A SMALL TIMID HAND WAVES FROM THE BACK OF THE ROOM...

[pandora-blue.livejournal.com]

Oh good. Nikki told me about the beginnings of this thread this morning. I got all worried about it. It seems as if you two have reached a bit of an understanding.
Thank you Deb. you are a great friend, and I really appreciate having your support.
I'm sorry that I dump on everyone here.
Jessi

Re: A SMALL TIMID HAND WAVES FROM THE BACK OF THE ROOM...

[my-window-seat.livejournal.com]

No comment. ::hugs::