Life is a little less shaky...

[pandorablue]

This week has been difficult. Actually the last two weeks have been difficult.

I have come to the decision that I need to try to make this work. This is going be confusing to some people, but I had a really hard time justifying staying in my relationship with Jonathan this week. I realized that I at least had to try. I stopped trying a while ago, and that wasn't fair to anyone.

My best friend, J, from high school, changed his mind and decided that, yes, he can have part and be happy with that. I appreciate that from him because he helped form me into who I am, but I can't toss out the last 3 years in order to relive my youth (I sound so old).

I signed up for a correspondence course this week. It's for interior decorating, but I do plan on getting the associates in Interior Design. I thought this got my foot in the door. And at least I am doing something

I also started taking more supplements to go with my regular multivitamin and calcium. Omega 3, vit. c, vit. e, ginseng, cinnamon, b-complex. I am already feeling more energetic (well I would be if I hadn't woken up at 6 this morning for no reason), and maybe this will help me out of my funk.

That's it I guess.

Comments

[ancient-red.livejournal.com]

You don't want my opinion on "trying" to support a relationship that isn't working for either partner.

It's like trying to fit the square block into the round hole. It can be done, but it's not going to make anyone happy.

What's the deal with J? Are you polyish? How would I have missed that?

[pandora-blue.livejournal.com]

The relationship isn't working because I quit trying. I completely quit trying when I got pregnant, and then I think I just forgot how to make it work. A lot changed in a very short time. My boy moved in the same week I gave birth. My household doubled in a week, and I have had a very hard time adjusting to that. We are very well matched, and get along great. I love him, so it is worth the effort to try and get it working right again.

J is just a friend. He wants more but that isn't an option. He is the one that wanted all or nothing. He was willing to settle for part of me, and that makes me happy. I am a happy little freak thanks to him.

[ancient-red.livejournal.com]

Well, good to hear then. Keep on keeping on, but don't get to a point where you feel trapped. I've been there, and it is horrible.

this panicked me @ 1st

[melmo187.livejournal.com]

i'll be there for pride. want to hang out? we should cause i miss you. both of you.

Re: this panicked me @ 1st

[melmo187.livejournal.com]

strike that, all three of you (duh)