pandora's aquarium

Worked on my Book of Shadows today. Finished reading a book. Should have listened to a CD that a friend gave me. Especially since Sean will ask me tomorrow if I have, and I'll have to tell him know again. I don't know what I'm gonna do with him. I know what I want to do, but I don't think he'd let me! He wants me to spend the night at some point. Like a big fat retard, I'll say yes and then it will suck and I'll be crying by morning. I still love him so much. I think maybe at some point we'll have another chance. Maybe this time I won't fuck it up, like I did the last time. I don't know where this unreasonable anger comes from. I's like, I want him to be passionate about us, and he's not. That's not right. He was in his own way. He thinks maybe it's an age thing, and I just haven't outgrown it yet. Maybe he's right. I kept pushing and wanting him to "fight" for us! He got tired of fighting. I'm so stupid. I guess that I should just give up. Maybe I'm not rational enough to be in a real relationship.
Jessi