Hmmmmmmm...

We haven't quite figured out what we are doing yet. Obviously, we ARE sleeping together, and we are enjoying each other's company. It's funny, because the first time we did this, I managed to date someone that knew I didn't really like him very much. I was really good at avoiding actually having to learn anything about him. Now, I actually am really liking the person that he is. He can be sooooooo cheesy, and he's not exactly the best looking guy I have dated (although he is very teddy bear cute), but he is very interesting, and I really do enjoy his company. I mean the best part of the weekend was lying next to him and just listening to him talk. I just don't know what has changed, and if it's something in him, or in me?
We had this whole long talk about what we want in our lives, and what this might or might not be. We are just going to go slow. Get to know each other ( and not just in bed). I just don't know exactly why I got another chance. Considering the way I screwed him over the first time, I can't imagine why he wanted me back. I wouldn't have done it.I reall was quite mean to him. I was mean to a lot of people.
He knows that I am still in love with Sean, and while he's not okay with that, he wants to see where this goes. I need to talk to Sean. I don't know how he will feel about all of this, and part of me wants to say Fuck him, you finally realized that there are other people that can make you happy. But, there is still that sad girl that will love him forever and wants to wait for him to come around (which is probably never gonna happen). I just need to get it over with. No matter what else, Sean is my best friend, and he should know. He'll find out eventually anyway.
Anyway, I love all of you, and I hope to talk to some of *YOU* (HOLLY) soon.