May. 8th, 2012 10:11 am
pandorablue: (I won't cry)
My mom passed away last night. It was quiet and peaceful: she wasn't in any pain. It was also a bit of a shock. She was in hospice, so we had been expecting it to some extent, but we weren't expecting it so soon. Jonathan has been my rock and I am grateful to him for everything. Little Human sort of gets it, but not quite. I feel bad for him, and I just want to hold him forever. Nikki and Kit came over to help and I needed them more than I realized.

I'll be okay. We'll all be okay.

I miss you mama.
My mom has an art showing at The Wooden Cow Art Gallery. The opening is tomorrow evening from 5-8. If anyone can make it, that would be awesome. The Wooden Cow is on Montgomery just East of Louisiana in the Mossman Shopping center.

The half nekkid woman with the veil is hers (you would not believe the full grown men who were totally fascinated by the nipples on that woman when mom first painted her). She has one other piece in this show and 4 pieces in the gallery proper.
pandorablue: (Darby)
Little Human started daycare 2 weeks ago. He got sick (as did the rest of us)and so he didn't get to go last week at all. Then he went back on Monday of this week. When I went to pick him up, Miss Carmen (the 2 year teacher) said that he had been fussy all day, and she thought he wasn't feeling well. He hadn't slept well the night before, so I just assumed that was all.

On Tuesday he was really whiny. Little Human is not usually whiny. I noticed his ear was kinda clogged looking. When I get sick my right ear gets clogged something fierce. I used a little warm water and an aspirator to clean it out just like the pediatrician told me to. He just would not stop fussing. I was concerned but had other stuff on my plate and I thought that he was fussing because he had gotten used to being cuddled while he was sick.

Tuesday was also the day mom had the juried panel at the Wooden Cow Art Gallery. She had already gotten confirmation that two pieces were going to be in the October show but she also was trying to get in the consignment side of it too. I wanted to go with her for moral support. I figured that Little Human was just being a grumpbutt.

Jonathan took him to the urgent care at UNMH Tuesday night since he wouldn't calm down. He had an ear infection brought on by the cold from the week before and his eardrum had a perforation. *facepalm* No wonder he was fussy. The perforation had already healed over, which was helped along by my cleaning his ear out (thank goodness, since I was worried I had made it worse). He's on antibiotics. I kept him out of daycare today, since he was still fussy. He goes on Friday though.

Mom got into the gallery. They want her to bring 4-5 pieces on Saturday and they will hang what they have room for. My mom has delusions of inadequacy. She thinks no one likes her art. No one has seen her art for 8 FUCKING YEARS!!! The last show was in a church. She sold 5 or 6 pieces I think (maybe more). The other woman showing with her didn't sell anything. Argh! She makes me mad.

Of course before the panel on Tues there was stress, and something got said that bruised my feelings, but I think in the end, it all worked out. Little Human is fine, mom has an art gallery opening, and my feelings are no worse for wear.

The rest of this week will be spent cleaning out the pantry cabinet (cuz something smells really odd coming out of there...), finishing the kitchen, maybe, and getting the pieces ready for the gallery. Now, it is bedtime.
pandorablue: (Darby)

Happy Mother's Day. I love you.


Apr. 11th, 2008 09:54 am
I managed to convince mom to get an LJ. She is [ profile] rubye_tuesday for anyone that may be interested...
I knew I could convince her to join the dark side, I mean LJ *ahem*

{EDIT} I am really disturbed by her bio, but apparently she wrote more and it got lost in the LJ ether...


May. 30th, 2007 02:54 pm
I have to give a *HUGE* THANK YOU to [ profile] ohno_jonathan_o and [ profile] valuedemployee for helping me get the dishwasher today. I didn't get much of a chance to talk to [ profile] valuedemployee, mostly due to trying not to get J back to work too late, and then I went to Wally World while they and my mom brought it home.
Right now it is happily doing a load of dishes in the kitchen, and we are both so grateful, and so happy. I am beginning to feel civilised! I love the ReStore. This dishwaher is about3 years old, and I got it for $75. It looks good, and seems to run great. *Does Happy Dance*


Feb. 7th, 2007 07:45 pm
From [ profile] elegantdreams

All I want to know is Twelve things you passionately love.
I don't care if they are names I can't make reference to, colors, sounds, places you've been, moments you remember, a song in your head, a word, a touch, a flower you saw twenty years ago and can't forget, a letter someone wrote, your mom, your child, the idea of having a child, ... anything, everything... and please don't feel limited to 12... if you have 20, 50 or 100 I'll be more than overjoyed. And, if you don't want to post to "all of your friends" please simply hit "reply" and let me know.
I won't share, I won't repost, I won't abuse, negate, or say a damn thing about it.
I'm just feeling a bit blessed in some respects and down in others and would love the outpouring of what my friends find in life to love and sustain them.
Not a requirement, just a blessing I'd love to share. Please, if you can find the time... now hard is it to type out ten things you adore in life?
And, if I'm right by the people I've chose for friendship, perhaps you're reassess and truly appreciate that which you do love so much. Thank you ahead of time and I guarantee a formal thanks for anything that hits my inbox.

now the one thing i will change here is this, if you post to my journal, it will be public, I want to know what makes people happy, what they want and need and hope for in life, it makes me remember what life is all about, and I would love for everyone to share...however, if you feel OK telling me, and not the general public, email me at, and just to be fair, I will add mine on here...


1. The beautiful life growing inside of me. Sometimes I think I am not ready, but if I waited until I was ready, would I ever have children?

2. My Mom, who gave up so much to keep me safe. She has been the person that I want to grow up to be.

3. Jonathan, who probably isn't feeling to much love coming from me right now, because of circumstances. Thank you for all of the love and kindness that you have and keep showing me (especially now).

4. My Paddywagon, which is the greatest sweetest cat. I am entirely too attached to him, and lately he has been feeling unloved as well.

5. Tori Amos, whose music changed my life. The passion that is expressed in her music makes my heart lift.

6. The color of blue that the sky turns right before the sun is completely gone. Between the indigo of the night sky, and the yellow of the setting sun. *sigh*

7. My true friends, that stick around no matter how shitty I treat them. I don't deserve their love, and yet I am so grateful for it.

8. Music in general. If it moves me, I am an instat fan. I can feel it in my veins, and wish that it would never stop.

9. Books. I love the way they feel in my hands, the way that they smell when you turn the pages, The way that you can lose yourself for a little while, and the real world ceases to exist.

10. The white sanded cove near Tampa Bay, FL. It was quiet and beautiful. Dolphins came within 20 feet of me and the water was so clear. It is my meditation space.

11. My collection of ceramic ducks. I have managed to get a beautiful collection, to the point that I don't have room for all of them. These aren't figurines, either. They are large (smallest about 12" long). I think my favorite is still my big green one that I got a few years ago from my mom.

12. Black Pearls. Not perfect round ones, but the ones that are slightly odd shaped. The warmth that they absorb from your body heat, and the way that they color shift in the light.

13. Gypsy Roses. They are an un-patented variety, but they make the most perfect big beautiful red blooms. I love roses of all kinds, but these are my favorite.

I will add more as I think of them...


Nov. 21st, 2006 08:27 pm
It wasn't all over with yesterday. She woke up this morning with a lot of swelling and pain in her right leg. We took her back to the Hospital at 8:00 am. Turns out she had 2 pseudo-anueyrisms. They got one to go, but the other was larger. Yet again, two seperate docs telling us two different things, which ended up with her in intense pain for about 3 hours and we still have to go back tomorrow to get it dealt with. They said we will only be there for about an hour, we'll see. I really hope so, because I can't miss another day of work. The owner isn't upset about it really, but I can't afford it.

Thank you [ profile] ohno_jonathan_o. You have seen entirely more of my mom then you ever expected, and you still love us! We love you too!
Mom went in today. There is much confusion. They didn't put in the stents, and we can't quite tell why, due to two seperate doctors telling her two different things at two different times. She's gonna call and find out exactly what is going on tomorrow. The first doc was trying to talk to her when she was on Versed (sp?) and a wee bit stoned. The second doc talked to her while I was there, but if what she says the irst one said is right, then the second one makes no sense. Anyway, she is home. Fairly okay. We are doing Turkey Day at J's house, just the three of us. Mom is not cooking, obviously. Anyway, I am glad that is over with for now.


Nov. 14th, 2006 09:34 pm
Okay. I have been avoiding this post for as long as possible, but it is time. My mom is pretty sick. She has diabetes which is a bit under control now, but last week we found out that she has some heart issues. To the point that the doctor who did the EKG walked the results over to the Cardiologist to make an appt. for her. The Cardiologist prety much told her that unless they do a bypass (which is not an option due to lung problems as well), she can expect a slow painful death. Those were his exact words. Nice, huh? Anyway, since she can't have the bypass, they will be doing an angioplasty and putting in stents on on Monday (20th). She went in for some more tests today, and the doctor was wanting to wheel her over to get angio done today. This should help decrease her pain, and help lenghten the time she has left. At least I hope so. I don't know what I'd do without her.

BTW, Thank you [ profile] ohno_jonathan_o. If you hadn't guilted her, she wouldn't do it.
My mom's birthday is next week (the 20th to be exact), and she has decided that she wants a box turtle for her B-day. I have no idea why, but tomorrow we go on a turtle quest. And we get to see Nikki!!! Much YAY-ness.
I bought my first Flogging Molly cd yesterday. I am very much enjoying it.
I have so much shit to mail out for ~M~ this week that it's not even funny.
I am tired.


Jul. 19th, 2006 09:33 pm
I just found out this really sweet kid that I know, may have just screwed himself over. I feel bad for him, but I also see that he is responsible for his actions. I just hope that all of this is teenage over-reaction, and that it will all work out.

On another note, mom had her first real doctor's appt. at UNM. I am extremely impressed with how he treated her. She left feeling like it wasn't so horrible, and I felt she was in good hands. Now maybe we can get something dealt with.
My mom has the funniest ideas about things. She thinks that when I tell her Jonathan and I are going out for coffee, that we are actually going to be doing *other stuff*. Sometimes, unfortunately, coffee is just coffee. *sigh*
Amazingly, I went to pick up my paycheck today and discovered, to my surprise, a bonus check. Somehow all of my money issues end up figuring themselves out. I have no idea how this happens, but it almost always does. YAY!
It also allowed me to purchase the new crock pot that I have been wanting for a while now. Also bought a tile cutter. I can also pay all of my bills. WOW! What a concept!

i give up.

Dec. 6th, 2005 08:43 pm
i really do. just when i think that maybe life could possibly be getting a fraction better, everything turns to shit. i now get the lovely job of cancelling my apple order because mom only gave me half of her check this month. now i have to use that credit card to pay the mortgage instead. she was like "well isn't what i gave you enough?" hmmmmm, lets see, the mortgage is $650, and you gave me $300. um, no. that won't quite cover it. i hate my life.sometimes i hate her. right now i want to go crawl under a rock and die.


Sep. 20th, 2005 04:23 pm
I haven't posted for awhile. I'm sure that no one even noticed, but hey!
I have been working my ass off at both of my jobs. I got lucky enough to get this week off, so I can hopefully accomplish something here! Today is my Mom's birthday. We did a little shopping. She wants to do more.
J and i thought we were just taking a break from hanging out so much, but we ended up just breaking it off. It kinda sucks. We are still hanging out, and we might get back together. I miss sleeping next to someone. *sigh*
MY HOLLY IS HERE!!!! I need to call to see when to meet up. I miss her so much. I guess that's it.
Love you all.
My Mommy's Day celebrations actually ended up happening Sat. night. I am retarded and kept thinking Mother's Da ws next week, so I made plans with J. So, I ordered lots of Chinese food and bought her some brushes that she needed. Then today I went to see Kingdom of Heaven. It was okay, not as much flow as I wold have liked (and not nearly enough naked Orlando Bloom).
I swore to myself that there would be no sex today, and there wasn't. We talked and cuddled. I just wanted to make sure that was not the *only* reason we get along so well. It seems not to be, which is good. I just don't know. I really shouldn't like him this much and it does frighten me that I do. I guess we will just have to see (Nikki will tease me about this tomorrow, I just know it)!
Love you all a bunch!
Not a good evening. I had to cancel my fist date in a long time. My mom decided that she was going to have a freak out fest. She has told me that I no longer have priveleges to her car. Whatever. At this point I don't care. She is just pissed that I am not still with my ex. She thinks that he wants to be with me, and I am turning him down. I wish. He is positive that he doesn't want me anymore and while he is my best friend, I am not sure if we will ever be anything more again. I guess that I am just a little pissed off. I will calm down at some point this evening. Love everyone bunches!


Aug. 8th, 2004 09:10 pm
Today, I sat around and did pretty much nothing. I waited for the Salamander to call me (never did). I had to make sure I didn't upset my mother too much. She spent most of the day being weepy and depressed. She never really tells me why, so I get worried that we'll have the problem that we had a few years. The one where she runs away from home and tries to kill herself. Totally suck! Makes me feel like all of my other problems are stupid. I just feel like I never have any time to myself. She's always here. I know that I really can't get anywhere otherwise, and I don't want her to leave for good, but to have a few minutes by myself would be great. I dunno. Anyway, nothing I can really do about it. She seems to think that when I am boyfriendless, I should be more than happy to be always with her. Although she probably doesn't ike it when I am with him every weekend either. I really like waking up in another bed. One that doesn't involve walking out of my bedroom to be confronted with 2 dogs, 4 cats, and a depressed, weepy mom! I am just rambling. Sorry!



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